The following column was published by the Huntsville Times on July 18 , 2010. No part may be republished without the permission of the publisher. The title has been changed to the original submission title. This was difficult to write and is still difficult to read.
In June, two major events happened in our family related only by the calendar.
Travel changes you. In June I had the good fortune to travel to Scotland on business. My wife came along and after my meetings were concluded. We rented a car and headed to the Highlands. The castles and museums were great; the terrain of Fort William and Skye stark and beautiful, but it's the people that left a lasting impression.
Whenever we could, we struck up conversations with the people we met. We talked to waiters and restaurant owners, fellow worshipers at St. Giles Cathedral, people waiting at bus stops with us, and the bed and breakfast owners we stayed with in the Highlands. Wherever there was an opportunity we tried to see Scotland through Scottish eyes. The people we came to know are a hard-working entrepreneurial type who love their heritage and country and want to protect its environment.
They often feel that the government in London does not understand their problems, but their desire for complete independence from their fellow British citizens does not burn as brightly as it has in the past.
In other words, they're a lot like us.
In all of my travels, the people I've met want the same things out of life. They want to find meaningful work and make a good living for their families. They want a quality education for their children.
They love their respective country, even while acknowledging its shortcomings.
Most of them know a lot more about our country than we know about theirs. They're interested in the United States and our politics. As for knowledge of Alabama, without Lynyrd Skynyrd (or now the BP leak), we would be invisible - part of the great blank between the east coast and Texas.
In the U.S, when I have discussions with people about our foreign policy, I sometimes hear "I don't care what those people in ________ think of us." Well, I care. For example, I care about what the people of Russia think of us. I care because of their stockpile of nuclear weapons, I care because they have huge deposits of oil, gas and strategic minerals. But most of all I care because of my friends there. Evgenia, Igor, Valeri, Andrey and Olga are people whose friendship is valuable to me.
And I care because the parable of the Good Samaritan teaches that our neighbors are not just those next door, in our town, or even in our country.
So in Scotland, I got to know more of my neighbors. Then, as we were driving through Perth on our way to Stirling we got the phone call you never want to receive.
The death of family members changes you.
There is very little that leaves you feeling as isolated as being 5,000 miles from home when disaster strikes. My sister's husband, David, had died from a heart attack at 53 years old. There was no previous indication of a heart problem. When we got the call, I was so deeply in shock that I couldn't drive. The pain was amplified because I was not there for my sister. We ended the vacation and flew back to the United States the next day.
My brother in law's career shows that government can work for the good of the people. He was an industry recruiter for the state and was involved in many successful industrial recruiting efforts in Alabama over the last 23 years. His work legacy will impact Alabama for generations in the thousands of jobs created and billions of dollars of economic impact from plants like the Toyota facility in Huntsville or the Hyundai plant in Montgomery. For his family, his legacy is more personal, a legacy of care and love for my sister and nieces. He will be missed.
The change in subjects in this column is jarring, like the change in our perspective when we received the call.
What have I learned from these events so far? Live every day like it was your last. Make peace if you are at odds with anyone; don't let the sun go down on anger. See the world, meet the neighbors. Open yourself to new experiences, but hold on to what is precious. Grow and be changed.
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